This is my joke page with a few favorites, and a table of contents to many more. I've found these jokes from all over the web and have compiled them here for everyone's amusement. I've selected these jokes for their clean humor--I think they are suitable for any audience. They are arranged in categories for any occasion--clean jokes about blondes, lawyers, politics, puns, law enforcement, education.... I will be updating them regularly so be sure to bookmark this page. Below are a few examples from the site. Click here to enter the main page and enjoy!
Clean Joke Number 1
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blond and the bouncer is blond. I'm 6' tall 200 LB and have a black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" and weighs 225 lbs and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 lbs and he's a wrestler. We're all blonde too! Think about it, do you really want to tell that blonde joke now?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times I don't."
Clean Joke Number Two
Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1."
Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!"
There was a brief moment of silence.
First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!"
Clean Joke Number Three
Clean Joke Number Four
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
NARCISSISTIC - Hark! The Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town
PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away)
Clean Joke Number Five
They proceed to fall off the ladders and drop the tape measure, the whole thing was just a mess.
An engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurements to one of the attorneys and walks away.
After the engineer has gone, one attorney turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer. We're looking for the height, and he gives us the length"
Clean Joke Number Six
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an MBA.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three MBAs cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the MBAs on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the MBAs don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an MBA.
When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three MBAs cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the MBAs leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
There are many more clean jokes in the following pages, and more
will be added regularly. Bookmark this Page!
(Side note: I found these jokes all over the web--I do not believe any of them are copywritten. If they are I will remove them as soon as I hear of it. With that said, enjoy CleanJokes).
Visit My Home Page
Get Paid to Surf